Tags: karma in relationships

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When we were little playing in the sandpit tussling over Barbies and changing our best friend from one hour to the next, it seemed like an innocent world, but as the years went by, we turned into women that have learned certain behaviours which put us into one of two camps: The Chicks Before Dicks Camp and The Dicks Before Chicks Camp.

Following in the footsteps of my dear pal New York Moments who wrote about Raising Our Standards, I too need to address the blatant screwing over that women are doing to each other. I look at some of the problems that women have with their relationships and I listen to the complaints about friendship and something is clear: When it comes to the pursuit of the species that is made up on 75% water and the rest ego (joke!), there are some women that will do whatever it takes no matter who they trample on along the way, because having a man is more important than anything. This means that friends will screw friends over, sisters will screw each other over, sisters and mothers, co-worker to co-worker as long as there is a penis to show for their effort at the end of it. Pray tell people, when did women become so f*cked up?

With the increasing dicks before chicks behaviour, we are in danger of alienating a core element of our lives as we create an air of distrust. Through childhood into adulthood, women are picking up the message that you are incomplete without a man (or partner), hence the ruthless mentality of women who have their insecurity rooted in these messages. Yes – there are some women who are clever enough to recognise that having strong female relationships are important but there are many that don’t.

We’re treating each other like the enemy with friendships being expendable and dicks being the almighty trophy. It’s like having a war and then putting up a flag in the rubble. It feels great for a while but then the dust and dirt settles on the flag and it becomes as dirty as the rubble around it.

Karma is a bitch and if we want to stop the vicious cycle of unhappiness and bad choices, we’d better remember that we reap what we sow. As long as we are willing to show men that we don’t give a rat’s ass about who we hurt or destroy to get them, we give them the power and the ego to believe that no matter who they are and with whatever dubious traits, they’ll always have a home because there is always a woman dumb enough, ruthless enough or insecure enough to clear a path for and take him.

If we remember that it’s Chicks Before Dicks, we will start to put out good karma. This means that when you meet a guy that is already with someone, you tell him to come back when he’s single and stand by your word, because you know what, you shouldn’t want a man who is so willing to be deceitful. This means that no matter what you may feel for your friend’s man, he is exactly that – your friend’s man – so you don’t get naked with him and you put her feelings first. This means you don’t shag your mother or your sister’s boyfriends and you don’t pee on your own doorstep by screwing over one of your own colleagues.

And it’s not just other women you should be thinking of – you need to cater to the inner chick within. We’ll let the prospect of romance blur our vision because we have other insecurities at play that it caters to. Instead of making yourself miserable, tell the bad boy or the Mr Unavailable to beat it and that there’s no room in the inn. Maybe if we’re good to ourselves, we might just start being good to other women.


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