It’s been six whole weeks since my last episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. I wanted to touch base, give a bit of insight into where I’ve been.
In this episode, I talk about the after effects of losing my father and share a few stories including:
- That time when a relative wanted to get my number so they could call me and tell me all about myself and how after briefly feeling rather wounded, I asserted myself by making the boundaries clear, breaking a pattern and moving me forward all at once.
- Why we laughed a lot on the day of the funeral, despite how painful it was, including when someone shrieked like a bird and scared the bejaysus out of everyone, especially my grandad and when the pastor told my aunt to buy a new car instead of calling up her brother (my dad) etc to come and fix it.
- How we came to realise that my dad was the quintessential people pleaser and how it devastated his self-esteem and his relationships with his family, as in, the one he created and why we feel deep compassion and empathy for him when we recognise the legacy of our family’s complicated history.
- Why our loss has been somewhat compounded by a certain someone not really being there for us but at the same time, why this has been liberating.
- What I’ve been up to and how I’ve been doing in the midst of this grief, including how I feel like I’m benchpressing life at times and why I’m basically grateful to grief despite how torturous it is at times.
In the episode, I mentioned that I’ve been reading, listening to podcasts and caning entire series of shows, all as part of my self-care, but I forgot to mention that I’ve also spent a lot of time outdoors, that I’ve continued to journal and I’ve basically just pottered.
Links and other mentions from the episode
My pals Jules and Debbie that I work with and that have been a wealth of support
Some of the books I’ve read while resting
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert – Perfect for creatives who are seeking deeper connection with their inner wisdom. This book really lit me up!
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume – For nostalgia and also because I think I might write a YA (young adult) book one day.
Grief Works by Julia Samuel – I started this a couple of days after the funeral and read more than half in one afternoon
The Seat of the Soul by Garry Zuvak – It’s a meaty read that takes some concentration but he speaks to everything I talk about on Baggage Reclaim.
Thank & Grow Rich by Pam Grout – This is actually a book about gratitude and experiencing more richness in life, so not really about money but more about looking at life differently.
She Means Business by Carrie Green – Interesting read around mindset that also includes inspiring stories.
Pivot by Jenny Blake (still reading) – My new favourite recommendation for people who are looking to make shifts in their career or business.
You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (still reading) – I like Jen as she’s frickin hilarious and has overcome her own money story, in her forties, which just goes to show that we shouldn’t be so quick to write ourselves off as if we’re supposed to have our lives together and ‘done’ by our thirties.
Live Awake (This is an a-mazing meditation-style podcast that I started listening to in the weeks before dad passed and even listened to a few hours after he was gone – thanks to pal and BR reader Jolene of Healthy Discoveries for the tip-off)
Good Life Project (thought-provoking and I enjoy getting absorbed in the stories)
Soulful PR Podcast (Janet is the business podcast I recommend to pretty much anyone I talk to about business)
Magic Lessons With Elizabeth Gilbert (I’ve still got all the archives to get through but I like her don’t give a beep attitude and her commitment to creativity)
Tara Brach (Thought-provoking series about meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening that always has very funny anecdotes that make the live audience giggle despite what can be serious topics)
Being Boss (One that’s gradually grown on me – it’s aimed at female business owners, typically creatives and I love that all of the interviewees have stories full of very relatable bumps). Incidentally, I listened to one of the most mind-blowing inspirational podcasts about nature and gardening of all things – I’m not exactly Miss Green Fingers – and it featured this amazing woman, Mary Reynolds. She’s doing for the plant world what I do for emotional baggage.
Shows I’ve watched
Big Little Lies (gripping), Chewing Gum (multiple belly-laugh inducing), Master of None (one of the cleverest shows around that captures dating and relationships so well), Dear White People (made me laugh, wince and ache in equal measure – brilliantly written and produced), How To Live Mortgage Free with Sarah Beeny (I’m fascinated by the design elements of these really desirable smaller homes that have cost a fraction of my own home), Black-ish (hilarious, surprisingly moving, grandmother is a genius mix of my mother-in-law and my mum).
Side note: I am obsessed with the Big Little Lies soundtrack.
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