Currently viewing the tag: "red flags"

Revisited: The Justifying Zone

On November 5, 2012 By

A few years back, before I delved deeper into the subjects of being afraid of making ‘mistakes’ and perceiving recognition of a date/relationship not working out as a ‘failure’, I explained the danger of putting yourself in the Justifying Zone.

This is that slippery slope that […]

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“I’m afraid that X is going to happen.”

“I’m afraid that they Y…” ‘y’ being “can’t be trusted”, “are going to leave”, “cheating on me”, “surfing dating sites behind my back”, “are too good to be true”, “not over their ex” and other such concerns that can keep you awake at night […]

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If you’ve ever found yourself struggling to get over a relationship that didn’t get off the ground, was unreciprocated, or was largely virtual, you may not realise that you’ve been involved in a fantasy relationship although you may have uttered the words, “I […]

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If you’ve ever said “I don’t know what was real and what was fake”, “But it’s hard to let go of the fantasy” , “It feels like I was in love with an illusion” or “I’m finding it really hard to move on and accept what has happened”, you’ve got reconciliation issues. When you’re faced […]

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Over the past few years, I’ve gone to great lengths to explain the importance of boundaries, something that all people who have low self-esteem and who put up with inappropriate or downright shady behaviour have little or none of. Boundaries are basically your limits and also act as your Continue Reading

Every time a friend has spoken to me about her frustrations with her boyfriend over the past year, she keeps mentioning him smoking “a bit of weed” and his drinking habits and then quickly playing them down. Someone else I know is shrinking and rationalising the fact that her boyfriend keeps rubbernecking […]

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I remember several years ago after a breakup that people would ask why we’d ended and I’d launch into the full tale. After a few weeks of matinee and evening performances, I noticed that the explanation time was shrinking from A Very Long Time, to several minutes, and eventually to […]

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Ever since I wrote about casual relationships followed by the landmarks of healthy relationships, I’ve heard from many readers who wanted me to expand on these subjects some more.

After much observation and plenty of experience, I believe that healthy relationships have joint agendas […]

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I used to go into tailspins over various situations, other people’s behaviour, and of course second guessing my own actions and going down the If Only I Could’ve... train of thought. I have put in some serious ‘man hours’ crunching the data of […]

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Several weeks back, one of my friends Twanna was telling me about how on a few occasions she’s been chatted up by a guy only to glance down and realise that his wedding band is in his pocket. She was of course outraged at the audacity of […]

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There are behaviours and situations that get presented in relationships that signal that you need to opt out or at minimum, slow down and address the situation before proceeding. What I’m about to explain are what typically make you incompatible, or signal a particularly unhealthy relationship or that there are things that you need to […]

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