One of the most frustrating of all the Dating Games is the Pushey Pulley Game (PPG). Over the summer, many women bloggers seemed to be experiencing a blogdemic of Pushey Pulley Bullsh*t (PPB).
I’m writing this article to help women cut through the PPB. I’ll answer questions such as, ‘What is the PPG?’ ‘Who plays the PPG and why?’ ‘How to identify the PPG?’and, most importantly, ‘How to stop from being a victim of the PPG?’

Everyone, at some point, has been a victim of the PPG. You meet someone who you like, and who professes to like you. You date, or hook up, and then, for some unknown reason, they pull away, they ignore you, and/or they do something nasty. When you get upset and ask if there’s something wrong, they tell you that everything is fine, and they’re still interested. They will do this until you believe them, then they’ll repeat the cycle of ignoring you, pulling away and/or doing something nasty. And then rinse and repeat, and rinse and repeat, and rinse and repeat, until you eventually figure out that they’re full of sh*t and end the game yourself.

There are two main types of Pushey Pulley men. Type #1 is ‘The Coward.’ This guy isn’t playing the PPG to be malicious; he’s just not interested or has something else going on, and is too much of a coward to be honest about it, so he continues to profess interest while blowing you off. He probably won’t contact you a lot, if at all, but when pressed, he will always tell you that he likes you, but is just too busy. Type #2 is ‘The Malicious Bastard.’ This guy plays the PPG because he wants something from you (i.e. sex, gifts, revenge, ego boost, etc) but he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He may wine you and dine you one week, and then the next week will stand you up, and when you get upset, he’ll have a million excuses and may even blame you for his behavior. Then he’ll reel you back in with fancy words and maybe some more wining and dining, and then he’ll do something cruel again. ‘The Malicious Bastard’ will go to great lengths to continue playing this game with you and will always initiate contact, and keep it going indefinitely, or until he’s achieved his desired end.

The PPG is easy to identify. Simply put, his words will not match his actions. He’ll tell you that he likes you but he won’t call. He’ll tell you he wants to spend time with you, but he’ll never ask you out and will use the excuse that he’s too busy or he’s going through a hard time. He’ll tell you that he’ll be there for you, but will make excuses if you actually ask for help. He’ll tell you that he wants a relationship with you, but is prevented from getting too serious because he’s still dealing with an ex or he’s still not over his last relationship. These Pushey Pulley Men are, generally (and especially The Malicious Bastard) very good actors. Most of them are accomplished liars, possess no scruples and, from extensive experience, know just what to say to women to make them believe their lies. If they frequently use phrases that begin with, ‘You are the only one I ever’ or ‘I’ve never done (X) before I met you,’ etc, it’s generally a sign that they’re lying. Pushey Pulley Men will say and do things to make you think you’re special, and that’s how they will keep reeling you in.

Other signs to look out for are verbal and emotional abuse. Generally, if you catch them in a lie, or you protest about some mistreatment you’ve received, they will immediately turn the tables and insult you somehow, or act as if their behavior is your fault.

In the dating world, it’s nearly impossible not to experience it at least once. However, the best way to avoid ever having to deal with it is to recognize the signs as early on in a relationship as possible. If he lies, if he’s verbally abusive, if he insults himself, if he makes promises he doesn’t keep, if he is still hung up on or somehow tied to an ex or an old relationship, there’s a strong likelihood that you’re going to be dealing with Pushey Pulley Bullshit. And, the number one rule of thumb to remember is that if his actions do not match his words, he’s playing the PPG.

Let’s get smart, girls and stop being pawns in this ridiculous game!

About the author: After receiving a nice, wholesome upbringing in a typical Midwestern town of the US, this intelligent, witty, and frequently snarky chick, craving adventure, managed to receive her first real-world instruction on the streets of Paris. After that eye opening and somewhat harrowing experience, on a whim, she moved to The Big Apple where she was permanently corrupted. She’s an armchair psychologist and enjoys analyzing herself and others, while maintaining a deep appreciation for the ironies of life.

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