Following on from my previous post on ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and other sayings translated as well as ‘what does it mean when a man says he can’t give you what you need?’, here are even more translations!
He says: I don’t want to hurt you.
Translation: Just to give you some forewarning, I’ll never really mean to hurt you but I will anyway and won’t take any responsibility for it.
I don’t connect my actions with the impact on you or the relationship because I tend to only really think about myself and I’m short-term thinker – I think about what I can get now without real thought for the consequences.
If someone doesn’t understand what they did to cause you pain, what is to stop them from repeating the behaviour? A lot of people have relationship patterns which means that they have an awareness of what they are likely to do. They may have ideas to be different ‘this time’ but if they go to the trouble of saying this, it means they’ve resigned themselves to inevitably causing you pain.
You hear: He doesn’t want to hurt me because he cares about me so much, which means he didn’t mean it when he hurt me so I’ll forgive him anything.
He says: You’re out of my league.
Translation: I don’t see the potential that you do – stop dreaming.
You’re too good for me and I know it as well because you should be running in the opposite direction.
You’re too good for me – I don’t believe in me.
While sometimes it will be insecurity talking, if the person who is saying it keeps saying it, it’s likely to be a prelude to them acting up whether that’s cheating on you with someone who is more in their ‘league’ or just gradually whittling down your self-esteem as you try to show that you’re not on the pedestal that they appear to have put you on. Basically, it can be an indicator of negative energy from someone that may result in being possessive, controlling, jealous etc. In other circumstances of course, it may be a sign of someone who is lacking in confidence but they’re a good person. You have to work out which one you’re with, but you also need someone who is going to stop second-guessing the relationship and believe in it. They need to take you down off the pedestal and be on an even footing otherwise it creates a healthy imbalance where you appear to be looking down.
You hear: Oh how sweet! He thinks I’m too good for him but I’ll show him. I have so much love to give and I know I can help him to see his potential. He just doesn’t believe in himself. Maybe I should downplay my needs….
He says: Nobody will love you the way that I do.
Translation: I’m narcissistic and deluded enough to believe that how I treat you and the crumbs I give you, are wonderful and a loaf. I don’t believe you deserve better than how I treat you and know that you have low self-esteem and doubts that you can do better…after all, you wouldn’t be with me otherwise.
I’ve had this said to me a couple of times and from personal experience and those of many others, I can assure you that when you hear these words and you’re in a relationship where you are unhappy, not having your needs met, low self-esteem etc, be very, very afraid – men like this think they’re as good as it gets for you.
You hear: He is loving me the best that anybody can and I should be grateful. He’s obviously loving me in spite of my flaws and I need to realise that I can’t do better than this. If I leave, I won’t get this ‘love’.
He says: I’m bad news.
Translation: I’m bad news.
Really it’s as simple as that. Don’t get things twisted and try to see a meaning that doesn’t exist. You should be damn bloody worried when someone tells you that they’re bad news because it means that they know that they mean you no good. He knows that he will screw up your life if you hang around. One word: run!
You hear: He’s too down on himself. I know he says he’s bad news, but I know better. How could someone I’m crazy about be bad news?
He says: I wish I had met you before I met her.
Translation: If I’d met you before her, we could’ve been together, but I’m not leaving her. You’re good to have as an option and if you’re up for it, we can sleep together.
In a situation like this, you’ll feel rejected because he won’t choose you over ‘her’. For someone to be saying this, a conversation needs to have started that is based on you seeking validation from him and asking him why he can’t be with you – you’re trying to get him to leave someone.
You hear: He’s crazy about me and wishes he could be with me, it’s just her that stands in the way of us being together. I think I should show him how much I love him because he won’t be able to resist me and he’ll leave.
He says: I have nothing to offer you.
Translation: Stop expecting from me. I don’t have what you need, either because you have conveyed it to me through actions or words.
I don’t have anything to offer you because irrespective of how little or how much you need, I’m not offering. Period.
I know exactly what I’m prepared to offer and it’s less than what you need.
I think you’re the type of person that needs A/B/C and I cannot give you this.
One way or another, this person has drawn the conclusion that they are not capable of meeting your needs. It may be they’re giving you an early warning not to get too attached or that you have come across as ’emotionally demanding’. Maybe you made a comment about finances, or plans that you have and it has triggered this statement. Either way, this person is telling you that they cannot meet your needs. You can question the validity of this statement with them as it may be a misunderstanding, but you may discover that no matter what you say you do or don’t need, they’re still claiming the same thing, which means that literally have nothing to offer you because they don’t want to.
You hear: Oh, he’s selling himself short. Maybe he thinks I’m being needy. I’ll show him that I really don’t need very much at all
He says: Every time something starts to get serious, I freak out and sabotage it.
Translation: I will not allow a relationship to progress. Even though I know I sabotage things, I have no desire to change. If you have any sense, you’ll keep things light and not expect, need or want from me.
I’ve been analysing my feelings for you or how I feel about having a relationship with you. I don’t know how to explain how I feel but I know that I don’t love you enough to want a relationship with you.
I don’t love you in ‘that’ way. I can’t love you in the way that you want to be loved or deserve to be loved.
You hear: He’s telling me because he wants to be different with me but he needs me to take it slow and not be needy.
He says: Let’s be friends.
Translation: Please say you’ll be friends because I won’t feel like a bastard.
Let’s be friends – I don’t mean it but it’ll get you off my back because I don’t want to keep talking about the relationship.
Let’s agree to be friends – I want to keep a foot in the door, hit you up for a shag and an ego stroke on occasion and stop you from moving on by hinting that we might be together again.
Someone who genuinely wants to be your friend after you break up will realise you need some time to heal and they will only be your friend and stay within boundaries. They’ll be respectful and they won’t try to force their own agenda.
You hear: He really wants to stay in my life and I really want him in my life too. He really cares about me and values me. Hopefully when we’re friends, he might realise how great we could be together without the pressure of the relationship.
He says: I do not have a soul.
Translation: I feel nothing. I’m devoid of empathy, love, and care.
You hear: What does he mean he doesn’t have soul? Of course he does! I’m crazy about him! He’s obviously been hurt before…let me be there for him and understand him…
He says: I’m a terrible person.
Translation: I’ve done terrible things that I think make me a terrible person – why are you here?
You hear: He can be different with me – he just hasn’t had my love. Everyone deserves a second chance and someone to believe in them.
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