It’s been a very emotional week for me as I received an unexpected acknowledgement and apology about something after 21 years (more in the podcast) but I also had the pleasure of spending the day with survivors of domestic abuse at Wiltshire-based charity, Splitz. I was honoured to spend the day with these warriors talking to them not just about self-esteem and No Contact but also how in retrospect, you look back on your time with someone who you lost yourself with and wonder how the hell you ever took some of their rationale seriously. There was a helluva lot of laughing as I did skits of various scenarios and they also shared stories too. I love that The No Contact Rule gets passed around and read aloud in groups.
On to this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast!
Here’s what I cover in episode 19:
Don’t delay your happiness with an affair: Sometimes we meet someone who we feel a deep attraction and a connection with but…. they’re still in a relationship. I explain why someone else’s partner isn’t the one for you and why it delays happiness and invites problems, pain and guilt into your life.
Change Isn’t Gonna Happen By Following Faux Rules: Many of us have been using rules that we either made up or that were taught to us in childhood. These helped us to cope but are leaving us ill-equipped for adult life. Sure, following the rules at school or with our parents may have helped us get the grades or keep the peace, but we’re not living in a meritocracy environment plus other people are not playing by our rules so we have to get down to the business of being authentic.
About intentions and a person not being able to control it: When someone hurts us time and again but they keep going on about their intentions or we reason that they can’t control what they do, it’s time to call time on the BS because it’s not about the intentions, it’s about the repeated result and they do control themselves with others.
Listener Question – Why do have so much difficulty closing the door even though it’s two years post-breakup? After her relationship with a critical and controlling partner ended, this week’s listener has taken time to rebuild her life and her confidence yet can’t help but still wonder if he was right and that there’s something wrong with her.
What Nat Learned This Week: It only took around twenty-one years but I received an acknowledgement and apology about something last weekend and I share why as ‘nice’ as it was to get it, it wasn’t salvation as such and it didn’t change me or really anything, because I’d already made my peace with it–it’s that whole making your own closure by learning to accept an apology and acknowledgement that you never got.
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