It’s time for another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions.

In episode 33, I cover:

Personality versus character: There’s a big difference between the two and particularly in dating where we’re going to encounter personality before we really see character, we need to be discerning and ensure that we don’t jump to conclusions about what people with a certain type of personality will be like.

Being over-responsible: So many in the BR ‘tribe’ (I must settle on a name for our gang!) have assumed or been given way too much responsibility from a very young age. This habit affects our adult relationships as well as what we feel obliged to be and do, plus it leads to procrastination and trying to get others to be responsible for us [because we’re bloody exhausted!]

Some people won’t see it: I explain why burning up your time, energy and emotions pursuing someone who has done you wrong to ‘finally’ see things in the way that you do or to apologise or explain, is going to drain you out and that if you can acknowledge it, you can learn to accept that apology you never got and move on with increased awareness.

Listener Question: We had great dates including being introduced to his friends yet he’s gone silent–what should I do? This week’s listener started off dating with a view to finding a relationship, then relegated the date to one-night stand but then had more dates and has developed feelings, and now he’s not in touch. I offer some advice on what to do and explain why she needs to work out her priorities and decide if she has her one-night stand hat on or her relationship one.

What I Learned This Week: I made an important visit this week that reminded me that not everything is about me (or any of us) and that when we blame ourselves for where loved ones won’t step up and are self-destructive, we’re not seeing that there’s something in their journey that we’re  not necessarily privy to that is driving their behaviour.

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