It’s time for another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions.
In episode 53, I cover:
Preferences versus programming: Why do you do the things that you do or like or dislike certain things? I talk about distinguishing between autonomous preferences that make sense to who you are and the autopilot programming that can sometimes trip you up.
Points discussed include:
- The real learning to drive begins after you pass your test and have to get out there on your own. That’s adulthood!
- If you imagine that something terrible is going to happen every time you go out in the car, it puts you through a great deal of unnecessary stress and turmoil. It ruins the experience. If I listened to everything my inner critic and fears said, I would never drive. Funny that–life is exactly the same.
- Being a conscientious and vigilant driver both in your car and in your life means that you can notice what’s going on around you and slow down and adjust where necessary so that you can take care of you.
- When you get freaked out or angry on the road, you can’t just stay in the same spot and refuse to go anywhere. You have to get going again.
- Often when we fume about what someone has done on the road or we think that they’re behind us angry and complaining, we look in the mirror and realise that they’re not there. They’ve moved. Same thing with life.
Courses mentioned: Embrace Healthy Boundaries | Tune In To Your Inner Voice
Broaden your horizons: Realising that a shop I walk past all the time is an outdoor and shooting equipment shop reminded me that we only notice what we notice and that we have to be open to increasing our awareness so that we don’t live our lives as if we know everything and that all we’re here to do is prove that.
Listener Question: Sylvia wants to know whether her reflection about her last relationship is really rumination and whether she should just stick it in a box so that she can get on with dating again.
Resource mentioned: Everybody bounces back at different rates | Ep #1 where I talk about knowing whether you’re ready to date again
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Nat xxx
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This was a very nice and emotionally mellow podcast, that seemed more self-focused. I needed this. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable feelings about driving and the metaphor for life. I was actually thinking about a song lyric, earlier this week, about looking in the rearview to see a a little clearer. Hindsight is 20/20.
Very good listener question. I can identify with asking myself the same, in the healing journey…am I giving the past life lessons too much energy by still focusing on them? When is it ok to move forward, w/o healing from the past being the focus of my life; and am I healed or hiding out in the name of letting go, or clinging? Yes, clinging to unhealthy patterns is painful and monotonous. I’m finding it difficult not to relapse in healing any time I have any contact w my ex I share a kid with. It makes the healing process excruciatingly long, an uphill battle; something to cling to because I panic when I sense I’m moving on. Healthy boundaries are a challenge in this situation, especially the emotional boundaries with myself as far as overthinking. I’m trying, every day, to practice self-care and change patterns into preferences; and accept that I’m not where I wish or think I should be. No, you can’t stay still: you only find out if you’ve grown when you move forward and test what you’ve learned. I like your message about it being easy to find evidence to support your beliefs if that’s your perspective and you look hard enough. I’ve noticed this happens with the kind of car people drive. You get a new one and start to notice every car like yours on the road. Slowing down is nice, to the extent of getting out of the car and going for a walk, because then you really notice all the detail in your surroundings. This podcast really spoke to me 🙂
Keep up the good work Natalie. The passion in your work is apparent. What you love to do, makes a great difference in the lives of others and, I’m sure, your own life.