Have you ever been in a situation where if someone else were to tell you that they were in it, you’d be telling them to run for the hills, yet despite this, you’re still there?
I’ve been in some situations where I look back and wonder if I was smoking crack but at the time, the chaos, the absurdity, seemed so normal and there was a part of me wondering if I was being “too harsh” [in recognising the loud code red alerts] and so I second-guessed everything that my mind and body was screaming at me but that I was pushing down, after all, what if this was going to be my fairy tale ending? I think as well, when something is so outrageous but you’re having a good time with this person or you’re inclined to see or should I say, magic up the ‘good’ in people, you can be inclined to rationalise the outrageous, hoping and praying that the outrageous is a blip, the result of desperate moment and that with the love of the right person, they would have no need to do that thing to you.
When you try to bury something outrageous, it becomes an outrageous lie that reflects a betrayal of the self.
Love doesn’t need lies and deception and no matter what somebody claims is their reason for lying to us and possibly others, it is a code red alert to hit pause and depending on how far and wide the lie goes and whether this person is even making amends, it’s time to take a parachute and jump, even if your heart isn’t on board with the truth yet–it’ll get on board when you leave and start telling you the truth instead of denying, rationalising, minimising and excusing so that you can continue with the lie.
In today’s Advice Wednesday (it’s back and in video format), I help Sherry understand why she needs to make her exit. It’s all I can do not to stick on an orange jumpsuit and come through her roof intervention style!
The big takeaway from this situation that can be applied to any and all situations, is never ignore red flags (code amber and red alerts) or your gut and intuition and always take assertive action when confronted with anything related to honesty and integrity because somebody who does not truly care about being honest and their integrity, cannot treat you with love, care, trust and respect. You will be seen as a means to an end as they advance their self-interest.
Have you ever been in a situation that now that you’re out of it, you realise how outrageous it was? What was the clincher for you that finally gave you the impetus to get out? If you have any insights or some advice, please do share.
Take care of you,
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