Our feelings are instinctive responses that represent our emotional state. They provide clues about what we need to be and do for ourselves. Part of what causes us to feel unhappy, confused, frustrated, lost, and triggered, to name but a few, is being disconnected from our emotions due to not feeling our feelings. From there, we unwittingly make decisions based on codependency due to having little sense of ourselves.

Feelings aren’t facts. They happen instinctively (without reasoning and knowledge), so we need to be willing to listen to ourselves.

If we feel sad, we need to go inward; if we feel angry, we need to recognise where our sense of injustice comes from, whether it’s about us and/or others. If we feel afraid, we need to assess whether the perceived threat is real or imagined. And if we’re happy, we need to enjoy these restorative emotions and take note of when we’re ‘in the zone’.

Do you listen to yourself? Are you aware of how you feel on a day-to-day basis, or are you on autopilot?

Feeling your feelings breaks the cycle of codependency. When you get in touch with negative feelings, you increase honesty and integrity and become more conscious, aware, present, and in command instead of being triggered and on autopilot. You won’t feel as if you have to fiercely protect your independence or be excessively emotionally reliant on others. You’ll be able to better relate and honour the separateness—knowing where you end and others begin— so you will not have to fear getting close to people or being with your feelings and thoughts.

Building your self-esteem doesn’t have to be hard. Discover how just minutes a day with ‘100 Days of Baggage Reclaim’ can bring impactful mindset shifts, practical tips, and transformative tools.

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