Each week I cover topics around empowering you to discover and reclaim the great you that already exists, offloading excess emotional baggage, and navigating dating, interpersonal relationships and tricky situations.
I also feature a listener question plus I share something from that week that has helped me to know and care for me better.
If they’re not interested or available, why do they keep seeking you out for attention or an ego stroke?: I explain what’s behind this baffling behaviour so that you don’t get drawn into feeling guilty or obliged to keep up with ‘supplying’ them.
Are you aware of the baggage that you’re bringing into situations where you feel triggered?: The responses that suggest that you have a hot button subject or area and what knowing about the baggage teaches you about empathy and not personalising things to too great a degree.
The trouble with “You complete me”: Why this line from Jerry Maguire grated on me, the fears that somebody who thinks that they’re “not good enough” has about finding love, and why love and codependency are not the same thing. **NB** I didn’t realise until it was too late but in my second reference to Jerry Maguire, I said Jerry Springer!
Listener Question – What to do when you bump into your ex when you’re No Contact? Some quick tips for planning for success instead of failure as well as explaining why we stress about it in the first place.
What Nat Learned This Week: Our puppy Chester is a ‘needy’ breed and has taught me that our relationships are about accepting people for who they are and working with that (if we can) or finding someone who embraces us. Check out this post about how needy is an overused term.
You can listen to this podcast below.
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Another fantastic podcast Natalie!!
Thank you for answering my question!! 🙂
I really have been worrying what I would do if I did bump into my ex, what do I say? And how long do I engage in conversation so you have put my mind at ease and I shall definitely be polite and Move!!
You covered some brilliant subjects.
If their unvailable and still seeking out attention and an ego stroke was really helpful.
My ex Assclown told me that we would never work because I had two children but still periodcally text me after telling me this.. I too was asked to meet up for a coffee which I ignored and then was text again with a question mark!!
I decided to go No Contact by the help of ‘The No Contact Rule’… Best decision I ever made!!!
Once again thank you Natalie..
You truly are an inspiration!! X
K
Think it is more him being needy plus big ego/entitlement underlying probably fear of some sort (abandonment, rejection, immaturity…), and sure empathise for one’s own serenity yet still keep to no contact as Nat mentioned such people are needing to own up and deal with their own feelings/doing. Especially when such people have made it clear they don’t want intimacy with you (yet they expect you to be armchair psychologist…they can actually pay a professional some bucks to do this).
Nice one for keeping no contact.
Im so happy for yet another podcast. I have never met Natalie but she has been the single most positive influence in helping on this journey to become more self aware, love who i am and treat myself well. The tools I have received reading/listening here over the years continue to help me.
I loved this! Would love one day to have a library of podcasts for various situations which you can listen to on the go, SOS style. Keep up your amazing work xx
Dear Natalie,
I have been a big fan of your blog since I stumbled on it 2 years ago. I have convinced many other women to look for their answers in your site as well. Your newsletters are always timed perfectly! Super excited about the podcast with very sound advice. I would love to see you live and consider myself one of your biggest fans over the Atlantic ????
Natalie,
As always you have helped me stay in NC and helped me see how replying to his lazy texts again and again was only hurting me. He never sobbed or lost a day in bed over losing me. So I know WHEN he contacts me again, this time I won’t feel guilty ignoring him. THANK YOU!
‘Gina’
Thank you Gina, I appreciate your thoughts 🙂
Your absolutely right this guy has quite a few issues going on.
He admitted he can’t feel empathy, thinks he’s better than others, feels entitlement and hates loosing control which I suspect hes possibly Narcissistic.
In Natalies book ‘Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl, she states that if they are Narcissistic then it’s a code red, abort mission, do not pass go situation.
I had to go No Contact as he was eroding my self esteem and would not let me move on.
If I hadn’t of gone No Contact he would still be playing his mind games indefinitely.
Great podcast! I worry so much about running into my neighbor who is also my ex, that I’ve stayed inside my house & garden ALL SUMMER. You gave some great tips. And I think you have a very pleasant voice!!! 🙂
Caela, my god, you’re in the same position as me!
I too live next door to ex and what a nightmare! All I can say is the more you leave the house and use your garden the easier it becomes. I’ve been doing the dysfunctional dance with him for almost 3 years until recently I decided to go NC. Good Luck!
Thanks for all your hard work Natalie! Can’t wait for more Podcasts.:-)
First podcast I listened to, and very good one. I love the bumping into your ex part 🙂 as it comes right on time for me.
I fell off the NC wagon and jumped again and fell off again when seeing him entering places he never used before but now is constantly checking (why? who knows! snooping most likely). I could not resist more and asked him why is he appearing and disturbing my recovery while he is dating somebody else? Actually I asked him to disappear, vanish, go away… He suggested a chat, I denied… Lots of drama :S
Then, two days after apologised for the shouting (why did i do it!) and now figuring out even more drama as I have to see him at work in some days… I certainly need to listen to Nat again.
Pity I was planning to celebrate 100 days NC soon! 🙁