It’s been a fun and illuminating week. Last Saturday, I attended Gabrielle Bernstein’s workshop where I enjoyed a funny, heartwarming day learning about how to get out of your own way. I also bumped into a few readers while I was there. I love it when people say hello and share their stories of how they discovered Baggage Reclaim. What are the chances as well that not only would I find myself sitting directly behind a reader but that I was also sitting near the Irish contingent? Em immediately knew I’d been around them without my telling him because the brogue in my accent was much stronger than usual. I also bumped into another reader at a writing workshop I attended. It’s a small world!
Don’t write off the year if it hasn’t started off on the right footing
Many of us start the year all gung-ho and full of promise talking about how it’s “New year, new me” but then something comes along to knock us or we lose momentum. Or, yes, we do something that represents the habits we need and want to break. Next thing, we write off our possibilities for change. I explain why it doesn’t have to be this way and how to get to a more realistic perspective and attitude.
Why do we struggle to make and stick to our decisions?
I explain the components of decisions and what we need to ensure we do to make authentic decisions that we’re not going to be mired in regret in future. I also explain the blocks to healthy decisions including wanting to make perfect decisions, playing Columbo collecting info but not reaching a conclusion, and fear of uncertainty. What if I commit to this person and we have a great time but then our relationship breaks down in 2031?
What happens when you treat guesses like facts and predictions for your future with somebody? Big problems. I explain why we need to recognise that whether it’s seeing someone on a site/app, meeting them somewhere, or going on some dates, it’s all guesswork. If we can recognise this we will be less attached to rigid ideas, snap judgements, and predicted outcomes.
Listener Question: What do you do when two different partners claim that sexual attraction was the reason why they don’t want a relationship with me?
I help Stephanie pick her way through this messy situation including what this experience is truly here to do for her.
What Nat Learned This Week
I attended a writers workshop and noticed inner resistance coming up when doing certain exercises centred around planning.
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I think Saturday is my podcast day! Great timing as I tuned in while unloading groceries today and was then inspired to put them all away, unload and load the dishwasher, AND cook homemade sauce (which of course I ate by myself). Had I not been listening, I would definitely not have cooked.
Your response to Stephanie was powerful. It’s so sad, but so real, how we can take what someone says or does to us as the truth about us. The guy is a jerk. And you’re so right that feelings can’t just be put aside. I am guilty for blaming myself as well. Thank you for this gift today.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2024, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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Natalie,
I think Saturday is my podcast day! Great timing as I tuned in while unloading groceries today and was then inspired to put them all away, unload and load the dishwasher, AND cook homemade sauce (which of course I ate by myself). Had I not been listening, I would definitely not have cooked.
Your response to Stephanie was powerful. It’s so sad, but so real, how we can take what someone says or does to us as the truth about us. The guy is a jerk. And you’re so right that feelings can’t just be put aside. I am guilty for blaming myself as well. Thank you for this gift today.