The Baggage Reclaim Sessions PodcastIt’s time for another episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions.

In episode 50–yeah baby! It’s the big five-o!–I cover:

Getting paid what you’re worth: Earlier this week I wrote about the vicious cycle of undervaluing yourself and I got me thinking about some of the tips I share with people about ensuring that they’re not undervaluing their work and being underpaid. I talk about how whatever you’re afraid to charge/ask for is probably what you need to charge (or certainly close to it), why aiming low screws up negotiations and can leave you seriously on the back foot and significantly underpaid, the importance of deciding on your priorities, and more.

Knowing when to fold: When we get stuck on return on investment, we keep sinking our time, energy, effort and emotions into something that isn’t working. It can also be that we’re investing hard but not smartly, so doing ‘good’ things and feeling like we’re doing a lot, but investing ourselves in the wrong kind of activities and often doing it for the wrong reasons. I talk about sunk costs, why what you’re prepared to invest doesn’t equate to what someone will do, The Justifying Zone, trying to control the uncontrollable, having a gambling mentality and why it’s not a good idea to imprison you in a situation in the hopes of making things ‘pay off’.

Knowing When To Fold

The Justifying Zone

Betting On Potential—Are you gambling on a relationship capacity that doesn’t exist?

Means goals versus end goals: Ever found yourself doing things because it’s what society say makes a person happy or because it’s what a friend or family member expects of you? These won’t make you as happy (or happy at all) because they’re means goals or what I call mean goals (they’re mean to you because they’re based on shoulds rather than authentic wants). | The app I refer to is Blinkist (note that it’s mentioned because I like it and I’m not affiliated with them) and the book that I read the cliff notes of where the author talked about mean goals is The Code of The Extraordinary Mind.

Listener Question: Tanya has had the same group of very toxic friends since her boarding school days and it’s demolishing her self-esteem and she’s looking for guidance on how to overcome these toxic friendships.

We Have To Let Our Friendships Evolve

When You Experience Conflict In Friendships Because of New Boundaries

What I Learned This Week: I know I’m not alone in having worried about being like my parents and this week, a surge of shame has actually taught me that I don’t need to worry about that so much.

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