Relationship Insanity involves carrying the same baggage, beliefs, behaviours, and attitudes, choosing variations of the same person in a different package, or gravitating to similar situations and then expecting different results. It’s Groundhog Day where a little voice inside says, ‘I told you so’, and a part of you closes off, convinced that you are indeed ‘not good enough’, or that it’s best to settle for crumbs, or to avoid relationships altogether. It might feel safer to keep trying to get others to take responsibility for loving and caring for you than to get to know and understand yourself so that you can do it. But this only leaves you with ‘partners’ who want to take control, which isn’t love, so the pain continues.
Your old beliefs about you and your past represent your understanding at that time, so not updating them is akin to resisting feeling and living better. Don’t mistake trying to make things stay the same as a security blanket when it’s really a smothering blanket stifling your healing, learning, and growth.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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