When we sense or know something that means we need to change course but we go ahead anyway, we’re always self-critical in the aftermath. We beat ourselves up for not having listened to ourselves. But a dilemma so many of us struggle with is knowing when we needed to listen. In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I explain why ignoring, dismissing and overriding ourselves is always a problem and why we have to stop judging ourselves as harsh/hasty/hypervigilant/picky, and the like.

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5 key topics in this episode

  • When we acknowledge or know something that makes us uncomfortable, we judge ourselves instead of the information. We then perform at being the opposite of the type of person we judged ourselves as. So, if we say that we’re “picky”, we’re not going to be or do anything that fits that. Like having standards and boundaries.
  • If we’re honest about why we ignore, dismiss and override ourselves, we’re always, on some level, motivated by trying to get or avoid something. For instance, we’ll override our discomfort about something in the early stages of dating because we’re focused on achieving the goal of a committed relationship.
  • A major block that fuels our self-judgement is the idea that it’s “too soon” to make that call and act on the information. But when we consider that “too soon” is often in the early stages of something, we’re setting ourselves up for a fall. If we feel uncomfortable acting on what we sense or know early on, we’re not going to do it when we’re more emotionally, mentally. physically or even financially invested.
  • We need to listen to ourselves as a way of life. While we might not listen the first time (or few) about something, we have a duty of care to pause or stop once we become aware that we are persistently and consistently ignoring, dismissing and overriding ourselves.
  • What’s the “but”? When we ignore, dismiss and override ourselves, there’s a but in our rationale. I think they’re lying to me, but they’re so attentive that maybe it’s just me being hypervigilant.

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